Infidelity, Polygamy not Decent Acts

Infidelity, Polygamy not Decent Acts

The world is a man’s world, woman has been seen as weak and fragile from inception, woman status in the society is always lower to that of man, woman status also varies by country and region. A man can go ahead to marry as many women as he likes and house them under the same roof, this practice common in Africa. On the other hand, it is not possible to have a woman married to two husbands and live with them under the same roof. In Africa woman are not equal to men in status, majority of the women take care of home cores, children, gather fire hood and tend to family field why men look for jobs outside the home.

However, in this modern world, the twenty first century, things are gradually changing, Christianity for instant is against polygamy and divorce, some Muslims too now use rings and stick to monogamy but because men are naturally polygamous in nature I have observed that most married men still indulge in extra marital affairs, some do it with no regret and with the belief that it is a normal thing men do.

The society maybe ignorantly supports men infidelity; I have seen a couple of women complained about their husbands’ infidelity to friends and family, some of the response they always get me cold. People ask them questions such as: Does he take care of you and your children? Does he pay your children school fees? If the answers are yes people tell the women to face the up keep of their children instead of worrying about the husbands’ infidelity. People tend to forget the psychological trauma and diseases that an adulterous spouse exposes himself and his wife to, these people refuse to consider. Also, the way girls are brought up by African parents, prepare them for marriage, they are taught to clean the house and the environment, wash, cook, and fetch water while the boys hand out around with friends or help in the farm. Most times, the boys are giving proper education while the girls are given out to early marriage; they are being denied the opportunity to get knowledge hence, they are exposed to being abuse in different ways.

The two most practice religion in Africa Islam and Christianity established that women are men’s’ helper, they also strongly advice that a man should stick to a woman, infidelity is never encouraged by these two religions. I find it ridiculous when I hear some people claim Quran 4v3 gives the go ahead to marry two, three and four but turn a blind eye to the candid advice in Quran 4v129

Quran 4v3:

And if you fear that you may not be just to the orphans, then you marry whom you please of the women, two and three and four. But if you fear you will not be fair, then only one, or what your right hand possesses. This is best that you should not have financial hardship.

Quran 4v129:

You will not be able to treat all women equally even if you wish to do so.

I think the Quran is clear enough on the marriage issue here; some men have ignorantly or deliberately misconstrued these verses to carry out their hypocritical act of dishonour

Howbeit, Paul of Tarsus in his letters to the Corinths emphasises that woman should be silent in the church also; she is to be submissive to her husband and cover her head whenever she is in the church.

1Corinthians 14v34-35:

Let your woman keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn anything let them ask their husbands at home for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

 Paul made it clear that women are to be silent in church, the Roman law forbids woman to speak in public at this period. As degrading as Paul position may be in the above sentence, he upholds the law and also enlightens us on how the Roman law feel about woman right to talk in the public and even in the church.

Furthermore, Paul states in his letters to the Ephesians the roles of wives and husbands, he did not however, failed to include in his letter how God view male and female as equal. This is evident in Galatians 3v28 and Ephesians 5 respectively.

Galatians 3v28

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ.

The main purpose of this article is to argue and establish that the edge male has over the female in marital issue or in the society should not give him the right to indulge in extra-marital affair; it should not be construe to make him a pervert even when his sensibility or his society supports such ungodly act. Marriage should be built on trust and the fear of God.

Culture plays a very strong role in the way woman is view in different society, this is a fact that cannot be denied but when a man seeks for justice, he has to be truthful to himself first. No condition should be accepted to allow a man engage in extra marital affair and condemn vehemently woman from doing the same. Couple should be sufficient for each other in all ramifications of life; this is my conclusion and conviction on this matter.